~Trail Of Thoughts~

I’m Glad My First Love & I Were Never An Item

Sure, I’ve had the hugest crush on this guy for most of my life… A friend no less… But seeing how he is with his current special someone, I’m actually rather glad that he’s not and will never be my boyfriend. He’s too moody & controlling. It’s rather suffocating. While I’m not the type to voice out concern nor am I the touchy feel-y type, it sure feels rather cold. I cannot deny that he will always have a place in my almost non-existent heart, but I don’t see any way that it would work out anyway. I’m the type to just leave and return with a cold shoulder and your name on a hitlist in my book. Besides, I find myself spending the day with him and he somehow never fails to make me feel bad about myself. A real shot to the heart, aye? I guess that’s the real reason… He isn’t my man and yet he manages to stab where it hurts the most. Between me and my love, I choose me, even when I don’t see myself the way I should.

It’s just frustrating that I still seem to be at his beck and call… Whenever he texts & invites me to go out with his love , who also happens to be my friend, I jump the gun. I’ll drop everything and go. Even when he makes me wait for so long… *sigh* Sure it’s so us friends won’t lose connection or whatnot but really it gets tiring sometimes… I just see him spending time with his dearest, and his dearest looking distressed over time. It’s worrying. It’s like making a pres conference saying that everything’s fine when really it isn’t. I end up thinking if I’d ever find the one for me… And it’s just frustrating.

I haven’t posted anything lately… It’s just been depressing. ;___;

I haven’t posted anything lately… It’s just been depressing. ;___;

My Kid!Loki shirt. Because there is no way in Hel I’m going to wear spandex or similar materials (unless it’s sportswear for the occasional jog).


I had the shirt made by the same seamstress who made all my other costumes. Logo painted by me. Stencils are the worst man… Should’ve free -handed this from the beginning.

I tried spiking up my hair but it refuses to fully cooperate. Oh well…

Because I have nothing to post lately. ^^ I’ll probably come up with something by summer… Which is still 3/4 months away… *sigh*

Last time I bought a Thor doll… Imma try and get a button pin done for Loki’s symbol because there’s just no way I could ever afford to cosplay Loki in any universe. *Yohoho! It’s a student’s life for me =___=;*

Because I have nothing to post lately. ^^ I’ll probably come up with something by summer… Which is still 3/4 months away… *sigh*

Last time I bought a Thor doll… Imma try and get a button pin done for Loki’s symbol because there’s just no way I could ever afford to cosplay Loki in any universe. *Yohoho! It’s a student’s life for me =___=;*

I heard over the news people running amok more often now. Great. Just great. This is how we all go down then?

I should probably rename my self the emo king… T___T

It’s effing annoying… Feeling depressed when I shouldn’t and now I’m on the verge of tears for nothing… I feel disappointed over the little things that shouldn’t count and I feel that it’s either I croak first or I kill someone over frustration.

Can’t I just disappear somewhere? The message that there’s no place for me here still rings and I can’t help but agree. I want a peaceful world. That cannot happen while I’m around.

Giving me false hope is even more cruel. More cruel than I’d ever do or hope to do. The world doesn’t need another sad case like me. Over my own, I’d wish she was happy because that’s the least I can do when my life has always depended on her… And she never failed to deliver.